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Understanding Low Self-Esteem: When Should You Seek Help?

Writer's picture: ElianaEliana


Everyone has days where they feel less confident about themselves—days when you feel unattractive, blame yourself for something that went wrong, or struggle with a task and begin to doubt your abilities. While occasional dips in confidence are a normal part of life, living with chronic low self-esteem can affect your mental health and day-to-day functioning.


What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem refers to how you perceive yourself, including your thoughts about your abilities, character, and achievements. For example, you might think, “I am kind” or “I am not good at public speaking.” These beliefs make up your self-esteem. Low self-esteem occurs when negative thoughts dominate, such as believing you are unloved, unattractive, or incapable. These negative perceptions can take a toll over time, leading to feelings of worthlessness and self-doubt.


What causes low self-esteem?

Many factors can cause or contribute to low self-esteem. Criticisms from parents, teachers, or bullies can leave lasting scars on how individuals view themselves – even if some are well-intentioned. Social media can also erode confidence when people measure themselves against perfectly curated lives they see online. Additionally, major life events, such as losing a job, a divorce, or a serious illness, may make one question their own worth and abilities. While some individuals are naturally more prone to low self-esteem, a person’s self-esteem can also fluctuate with experiences and circumstances.


What are the impacts of low self-esteem?

Low self-esteem can affect people in various ways. For some, it leads to harmful thought patterns like self-resentment or self-blame, which may escalate into mental health conditions such as anxiety or depression. Others might develop compulsive behaviours, like constantly checking their appearance in mirrors or repeatedly seeking validation. It can also cause individuals to avoid social gatherings out of fear of judgment or make them reluctant to try new things because they believe they will fail.


When should you seek help for low self-esteem?

While experiencing the occasional period of low self-esteem is normal, those living with persistent low self-esteem may find it disruptive and controlling over their lives. For individuals struggling with severe or long-term low self-esteem, seeking help from a mental health counsellor can be the start of your turning point. Professional support is particularly crucial when low self-esteem is linked to mental health conditions like anxiety or depression. Therapy offers a structured and safe space to unpack the thoughts and beliefs fuelling negative self-perceptions.


How does counselling help with low self-esteem?

Talk-based therapies like counselling can help individuals gain a deeper understanding of their self-esteem issues, and improve their self-esteem through a variety of methods. For example, your counsellor may help you draw links between specific incidents which contributed to your low self-esteem, helping you discover any distorted ways of thinking or hidden expectations that have been weighing on you. From there, your counsellor can guide you towards challenging those negative thoughts, reframing them into more neutral or positive thoughts about yourself.


Your therapist can also recommend strategies and activities for you to manage your own self-esteem in your daily life, such as making a list of positive things about yourself, practicing self-compassion, and challenging yourself to try something new.


Conclusion

Low self-esteem is a common challenge that can affect anyone, but it doesn’t have to define your life. With the right support, including counselling in Singapore or group therapy, it is possible to break free from the cycle of negative thoughts and embrace a more positive outlook. Taking the first step to seek help can open the door to a healthier, happier, and more confident you. If you or someone you know is grappling with self-esteem issues, reaching out to a mental health professional could be the beginning of a transformative journey.

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