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How To Deal With Having Too Many Negative Thoughts

Writer's picture: ElianaEliana


“I’m so stupid”


“I’m going to fail”


“Nobody likes me”


“Nothing can make this situation better”


Are these the kind of thoughts that fill your mind every day? Everyone has some negative thoughts from time to time, but some people may find themselves dwelling on these thoughts for a long time. That’s because negative thoughts can progress in a loop, causing the person to get stuck with those ideas without seeing a way out.


But you don’t have to be stuck in a negative thought cycle forever. If the negative thoughts are consuming your life and you want to do something about it, the key is to learn how to process those thoughts in a balanced way that will validate your feelings, while also tweaking your perspective away from a purely negative one.


Here is a simplified guide of what you can do to manage those negative thoughts:


1. Acknowledge your thoughts

Before you can begin to tackle your negative thoughts, you need to know what they are. Different types of negative thoughts can stem from different past experiences or different types of distorted ways of thinking, and may require different strategies to manage them.


Find some time to be in a quiet place and write down each of your negative thoughts. It may help to do this with a certified mental health therapist as they can guide you and help you see your issues with a clearer lens. Most importantly, refrain from judging or criticising yourself for having any of those thoughts – lots of self-compassion should be practised here.


2. Allow yourself to feel

Next, get in touch with your feelings, without suppressing them or judging yourself for them. What do you feel when you think those negative thoughts? Is it fear, anger, sadness or frustration? Know that it’s okay to feel those feelings.


Your therapist may also point you towards any past experiences that could have triggered these negative thoughts and feelings. Sometimes, simply knowing where those thoughts come from can provide a lot of relief and clarity, in addition to providing a starting point to work towards forming healthier thoughts.


3️. Reframe the negative thoughts

A lot of negative thought cycles are the result of distorted ways of thinking. For example, we may overgeneralise, jump to conclusions, take things too personally, or catastrophise about events, when there are other, better ways to look at the situation. So, the solution to managing negative thoughts it to replace them with other less negative thoughts.


It’s a mistake to think that negative thoughts should be replaced by only happy, positive ones. That can be unrealistic and fall into what’s known as toxic positivity. Instead, most counsellors would suggest reframing the negative thoughts into more balanced ones. You can use these guiding questions to help you:

  • Is [this negative thought] the only perspective? What other possibilities, neutral or positive, are there?

  • How likely is it that [this disastrous scenario] will happen? Which scenario is most likely to happen?

  • What would you say to a friend who is in a similar situation? (This question puts yourself at a distance to view the situation more objectively)


Conclusion

Getting to a better place in our relationship with negative thoughts takes time and practice. It might seem difficult at first, but it does get easier as you exercise those thought processes again and again. The ultimate goal is not to eliminate all negative thoughts, but to reach a state where you can have control over those thoughts, rather than let it control you.


Wish to learn more and hear from a counsellor about how to deal with negative thoughts? In a few weeks’ time, we are running a workshop on “How To Process Your Negative Thoughts” at our counselling centre in Thomson. Don’t miss this chance to learn more effective self-help techniques and gain new insights into managing your own mental health!

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