The Many Facets Of Grief: Types and Stages of Grief

Grief is a universal experience. Yet, we experience it all so differently. One person may feel intense sadness and withdraw into themselves, not talking to anyone for days. Another person may experience outbursts of anger, as they feel a deep sense of injustice at what has been taken away from them.

Anyone who has lived long enough to form relationships would have encountered times of grief. And it doesn’t just have to be from the death of a loved one. It could be the death of a pet, the loss of a relationship, loss of a job that one has worked hard for, loss of a home that holds so many precious memories, or loss of health.

All these experiences of grief – varying in their cause, intensity, and emotions – are perfectly valid. And it is important to recognise this, so that we can better recognise and help when someone is going through difficult times because of grief.

Anticipatory grief

Grief can begin even before a loss occurs. This is known as anticipatory grief — often experienced when a loss is expected and inevitable. For example, family members of a terminally ill loved one may start grieving long before the person passes away.

While painful, anticipatory grief can help individuals start processing their emotions early, allowing space for closure and acceptance. Grief counselling during this period can provide essential emotional support, helping people navigate their fear, sadness, and uncertainty about life after the loss.

Complicated grief

Grief is often described as coming in waves — it may subside, only to resurface through sudden bouts of sadness, longing, or emptiness. For some people, though, grief becomes so overwhelming and prolonged that it disrupts daily life.

Mental health experts call this complicated grief — when a person experiences intense signs of grief for more than a year. It may include emotions and behaviours like:

• Persistent thoughts about the loss

• Feeling hopeless or without purpose

• Losing interest in activities once enjoyed

• Withdrawing from loved ones

• Avoiding reminders or conversations about the loss

  
  

For people experiencing complicated grief, grief therapy can be particular useful in helping them regain a sense of purpose and functionality in their life.

The stages of grief

In 1969, psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced the 5 stages of grief, a widely referenced framework for understanding the emotional journey of loss:

• Denial (e.g. “No, this can’t be true. He’s going to come back.”

• Anger (e.g. “How could you leave me so soon?”)

• Bargaining (e.g. “I’ll do anything for you to be here again. Take me instead!”)

• Depression (intense sadness, emptiness, isolation)

• Acceptance (e.g. “He’s really gone.”)

  
  

It’s important to remember these are not linear steps — grief is unpredictable. People may move back and forth between stages, skip some entirely, or experience multiple stages at once.

Additionally, grief can stir up complex emotions like guilt, regret, fear, and anxiety — especially if there were unresolved conflicts or a strong reliance on the person lost.

How counselling can support you through grief

Grief is deeply personal and multifaceted — no two journeys are the same. Whether you’re mourning a loved one, a life change, or facing anticipatory grief, you don’t have to navigate this pain alone. With time, support, and self-compassion, healing is possible.

At Being, we are committed to offering counselling services in Singapore that are compassionate, tailored to help you understand and process your emotions, find healthy coping strategies, and rebuild your life after loss while honouring the person or thing you loved. We welcome grieving individuals to our safe space for you to process, heal, and find hope again.