
If you know someone who is struggling with depression, you may be wondering what’s the best way to support them. It’s not an easy thing to do at all, and you may feel especially fearful that you might do the wrong thing and cause even more hurt to the person you want to care for.
So, first, we want to assure you: it’s great that you want to help and that you are educating yourself on how to do so! While every individual may have differing needs and preferences on how they would like to be supported, our therapists for depression can offer some very general guidelines on how you can be a support to someone battling depression.
1. Ask them how they want to be helped
There are a thousand and one ways you can show someone that you care, but not all actions will be appreciated equally. The best way to find out is to ask your friend or family member directly what kind of support they would like to receive. Or, you can try to identify what their needs are and address them.
For example, some individuals like to have people they can talk to and share their struggles with – you can support them by calling them and meeting up to chat with them. Some struggle with having motivation to do daily tasks like cleaning or cooking – you can offer help in these areas to show your care and support.
2. Be present
When it seems like nothing else really helps, don’t underestimate the power of your presence. People with depression can struggle with feelings of loneliness, helplessness, and the belief that no one cares about them. By taking time to give them a call or meet up with them, you are showing that you still care, and you want to be there for them.
You don’t have to try to comfort them or ask about their feelings if they don’t wish to share. Instead, just let them know that you can be their listening ear or shoulder to cry on, in the event that they need it.
3. Refrain from judging or criticising
It’s not easy trying to step into the shoes of someone who is experiencing depression. You might have thoughts like “Why can’t they just get over it already?” or “I wish they could just see that things are not so bad”, but it’s not so simple for people with depression to just ignore all the negative thoughts. Making such comments can make them feel alienated and invalidated.
Even if you don’t fully agree or understand why they feel a certain way, refrain from condemning them for it. Instead, try to listen and empathise when they do feel safe enough to tell you how they feel.
4. Do normal things together
Depression is a condition that can take over many aspects of someone’s life, but that doesn’t mean their whole life has to revolve around it. While it’s nice to be a bit more sensitive to their thoughts and feelings, you don’t have to centre every conversation around their emotions and mental health.
Depression or not, treat them like who they are to you – a friend or family member. Go have fun with activities that both of you enjoy. Create memories and talk about anything under the sun. Make them feel valued, loved, and included. See them for who they are beyond their depression.
Conclusion
Like persons with any other health condition, individuals with depression often do better with support and care from their loved ones. Your actions might even save a life. So, don’t give up on being that supportive friend or family member. Some parts of the caring process may be challenging, but the impact it can have on your loved one should never be underestimated.
We also strongly recommend that you encourage your friend or family member to keep up with regular therapy sessions with a psychotherapist in Singapore, if you are in a position to do so. These professionals are trained and certified in intervention strategies to help people with mental health conditions unpack their difficult emotions and direct them towards healthy coping strategies. With a combination of the support of loved ones and professional help, many people with depression can manage the condition well and live fulfilling lives.