Forgiving Others Can Help You Heal: Why And How To Let Go

The old saying "forgive and forget" is something we’ve all heard, but it’s not always easy to embrace. You might think: How could I just forgive the person who caused me so much pain? How could I possibly forget that it ever happened?

Many of us believe that forgiveness is for the person who hurt us, as a way to relieve their guilt. But in truth, forgiveness holds incredible power for our own healing and well-being. Once we realise this, forgiveness becomes not just an act of grace for others but also an act of liberation for ourselves.

Why forgive?

It’s okay if you’re not ready to forgive yet. In fact, feelings like anger, resentment, and bitterness are valid responses to being betrayed or hurt. These emotions deserve space to be processed and felt.

However, there comes a time when holding onto resentment starts to hurt you even more. Anger from one incident can seep into other areas of life, making you more irritable, cynical, or even despondent. Bitterness can take a physical toll, too, leading to tension, high blood pressure, muscle aches, sleep difficulties, and heart palpitations.

Forgiveness, in contrast, is a way to reclaim your life. By letting go of the anger and resentment, you’re saying that you refuse to let those emotions dictate your future. Forgiveness isn’t about excusing the hurt or forgetting the past—it’s about choosing peace for yourself. And that choice often brings immeasurable benefits, from better mental and physical health to a renewed ability to nurture relationships.

If you’re struggling to let go of past hurts, seeking help from a therapist or mental health counsellor in Singapore can make a significant difference. With professional guidance, you can learn strategies to process your emotions and move forward with clarity and purpose.

How to forgive

Some wounds cut so deep that forgiveness feels impossible. Or perhaps you’re hesitant because you fear forgiving might make you appear "weak" or imply that you accept the wrongdoing.

But here’s the truth: forgiveness isn’t about erasing what happened, ignoring the hurt, or condoning the offender’s actions. It’s about releasing the anger and bitterness that weigh you down, giving yourself permission to move forward.

Ask yourself what forgiveness means for you. What do you hope to achieve by forgiving this person? The answer should align with your values and personal healing journey. Remember, forgiveness is a choice—not an obligation. You don’t have to force it if you’re not ready, nor do you have to reconcile with the person or inform them of your forgiveness unless you feel it’s right for you.

If you’re open to forgiving but unsure where to start, shifting your perspective might help. Consider these approaches:

• Practice empathy: Sometimes, understanding the other person’s struggles or circumstances when they did the hurtful action can soften our anger. It doesn’t justify their actions, but it might make forgiveness feel less difficult.

• Look for the silver lining: Painful experiences often teach us something valuable. Perhaps they reveal inner strength, resilience, or priorities you didn’t know you had. Recognising that the hurt caused by this person also had its positive lessons can be a way to help us accept the situation and move on.

  
  

Conclusion

Forgiveness is not about erasing the past but about freeing yourself from its grip. By letting go of anger and bitterness, you open the door to healing, peace, and the possibility of healthier relationships. And in doing so, you take an essential step toward reclaiming your happiness and well-being.

If forgiveness feels overwhelming, options like individual counselling or couples therapy in Singapore can help you process your thoughts with more clarity and purpose. A trusted counsellor can guide you through the process, helping you heal at your own pace and find the clarity you need to move forward. Whether it’s forgiveness in relationships or letting go of past grievances, you don’t have to walk the path alone.