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Men Get Emotional, Too: Men's Mental Health Is Important

Writer's picture: ElianaEliana


Women are emotional, and men are rationale – true or false?


We can get into an entire debate about whether these gender stereotypes are true, but how much of it is really what society tells us? For generations, boys and men have been taught to be strong and tough. From their childhood, boys are told to ‘man up’, and ‘stop crying’ – because ‘boys don’t cry’. We have grown up learning that crying is a sign of vulnerability and weakness – qualities that are the total opposite of what men should be like.


But men are human, and human beings have emotions.


Even if men were to be naturally stronger or ‘less emotional’ than women, it doesn’t mean that they are without feelings. Men, too, are susceptible to negative thoughts, sadness, and anxiety. Mental health conditions do not discriminate against sex.


In light of Father’s Day and men’s mental health month, let’s explore some perspectives surrounding men and mental health.


1. Men are vulnerable too

Work stress, family matters, identity and self-worth are all pertinent issues that affect a man. In some contexts, there may be an added pressure on the man to provide for the family as the head of the household.


Experiences that trigger grief, trauma, and anxiety can happen to any man, and these can have potentially long-term effects on their mental health. Even if we believe that men are in general less emotional than women, it doesn’t mean that they are immune to mental health threats and low points in their emotional health.


2. The dangers of ‘manning up’

People are now realising the dangers of expecting men to suppress their emotions just to keep up an appearance of ‘manhood’. Unprocessed and unexpressed emotions have the potential to accumulate, swell up, and finally burst like waters in a dam – exploding into issues ranging from mood disorders to schizophrenia.


We often don’t notice the signs early enough, because men are taught to hide their emotions. Asking for help or showing their emotions is perceived as a sign of weakness. They may feel embarrassed or ashamed. As a result, many men also delay seeking help from a mental health therapist, or even shy away from confiding in a friend or family member in times of distress.


3. Why should we care?

Think about the men in your life: a brother, husband, father, son, friends – or even yourself. How often have they confided in you or expressed their feelings in a completely honest way? How many of them might be having a hard time without telling anyone about it? How can you help them?


If we allow the status quo to continue, men will continue to bottle up their feelings, masquerading behind a curtain of resilience – even if they feel like they are breaking inside. Our sons will not know how to seek help during times they need it the most. Will we let them continue to suffer in silence?


What can we do?

At Being Counselling and Wellness, we are encouraged when we see men making bookings for counselling services in Singapore, taking the first step towards finding themselves the mental health support that they need. There shouldn’t be shame or guilt in seeking help.


In our own circles, we can change the expectation that ‘men should hide their emotions’, and encourage more honest sharing amongst our support circles – men included.


If you are a man yourself, you can start by being an example. Fathers, start a habit of sharing your emotions with your son – and encouraging them to do so.  Friends, don’t just meet up to drink and play games – start meaningful conversations to find out how your bros are really doing.


Let’s strive to treat men as who they are – human beings with emotions – and not judge them when they need support the most.

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