
Do you think you can recognise when someone is feeling suicidal? Do you think that all suicidal people appear depressed and are seeking to harm themselves? Do you think keeping quiet about suicide will discourage people from feeling suicidal?
Suicide is one of the leading causes of death in Singapore, which means there is a high chance of it affecting someone we know and love. Yet, there are many myths and misconceptions that prevent us from extending the right support to our closest friends and family who may be struggling with thoughts of suicide.
Let’s bust some of these common myths and learn how to better recognise the warning signs!
Myth 1: People with suicidal thoughts always appear sad or depressed.
The emotions that lead to someone feeling suicidal can be very complicated. While sadness and depression is common, some people feel resigned, or even a sense of relief. What they feel inside is also not what they choose to show others.
Depression therapists in Singapore have observed that some people who are planning suicide may appear very cheerful for various reasons: they want to leave their loved ones with happy memories, or they know that showing their sadness will raise red flags and cause someone to stop them.
This very reason is the cause of so many suicide cases going unnoticed until it is too late. It also highlights the need to take a individualised approach to recognising warning signs. Watch out for signs of abrupt changes in behaviour and mood – including when someone suddenly seem cheerful and upbeat when they have been feeling down for a long time.
Myth 2: Someone who doesn’t self-harm is not suicidal.
People often associate self-harm with thoughts of suicide – but that is far from the truth. On the one hand, some people who self-harm have no thoughts of suicide. Conversely, some people who are thinking of suicide may not self-harm at all.
One form of suicidal thoughts is called being ‘passively suicidal’, in which a person may harbour thoughts of ending their life, but they won’t directly hurt themselves. Instead, they may harbour a ‘if it happens, it happens’ attitude and engage in dangerous acts like crossing the road without looking.
Some people live with thoughts of passive suicide for a long time, but this doesn’t mean they are any less in need of help. Passive or active, they are still suicidal thoughts and should be taken seriously.
Myth 3: Talking about suicide will influence more people to do it
A common practice in the media is censoring topics or words related to suicide – which is a big reason why people have turned to using words like ‘unalive’ in social media today. This is done for the good intentions of not popularising suicide and preventing copycat suicides.
However, excessive censoring of ‘suicide’ creates a culture where talking about the topic is taboo. Suicide becomes seen as shameful, and this drives at-risk individuals to shy away from seeking help.
Instead, mental health advocates today encourage speaking out about sensitive topics like suicide to reduce the stigma and educate the public about this mental health issue. It is hoped that with more conversations, those who need help will be more accepting of seeking it and those around them will be more informed with the right tools to help.
Myth 4: Only people with mental illnesses will contemplate suicide
Anyone is at risk of becoming suicidal – and we mean anyone. While it is true that people with existing mental health conditions are more prone to experiencing suicidal thoughts, people who have no prior mental health illnesses can also be at risk.
Life events like the sudden loss of a job, loss of wealth, and family issues are just some reasons that can push a person to the brink. Some people may also have undiagnosed mental health conditions, or have been struggling with feelings of loneliness, stress, or grief for a long time.
It is time to throw out that mentality of “It will never happen to [him/her/me]” and treat everyone with the same kindness and vigilance when they raise thoughts about suicide.
Conclusion
The misconceptions surrounding suicidal thoughts can be barriers to understanding, empathy, and help. By dispelling these myths, we can hopefully take a step forward in creating more safe spaces for people to share and be supported in their psychological struggles.
If you or someone you know is currently facing suicidal thoughts, we hope to be able to provide psychological support and a listening ear. Don’t feel like you have to walk alone; our mental health therapists are here to help.
(For immediately life-threatening situations, please call for emergency services instead.)